Tuesday, February 19, 2013

The Sun, 2.11.13

Radiant light of morning
Sweet blushes of the sky
Hail in the dawning
The sun, it draweth nigh

Glorious rays of sunshine
Across the blue expanse
Keep it as a treasure thine,
The heavens' mighty dance

3 comments:

  1. Chava, I'm no poetry expert, and so this is just personal opinion and preference: I would cut the archaic language.

    I like this one, archaic language, or not - especially the the last two lines of the last stanza.

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    Replies
    1. Most of my poems don't have it (do they?), I guess I was just in a "romantic" mood that night. :) Thanks!

      Delete
  2. Not so hard to fix, seems to me.

    ReplyDelete