Me, 7.22.16

I look in the mirror,
And this body,
This flesh,
This isn't me,
Not how I really look.
But it's a part of me.

I catch my own glance,
My eyes bright,
Closer to who I am
Than the rest of the observable me.

I close my eyes to imagine,
How I'd look,
If I looked like Me.
My creative side sparks to life,
I see colors and swirls,
Beauty and brightness.
But then practical Chava steps in,
"Don't forget the quiet,
The thoughtfulness,
The peace."
And the sparkling colors
Subside to a bluish grey.

From the back of my mind comes a laugh,
Cold and cruel.
"And don't forget me,
The pain that has shaped you,
From your first headache,
And your first real tear,
To the adult you've become.
I've formed you."

I open my eyes,
Before the darkness crashes in.
I open my eyes,
And see me.

Darkness Seen, 4.7.13

I wend my way through obstacles
Searching as I go.
I find the world is dark with sin
And life is full of woe.
Confusion and debacles fill
Everything I know;
For humans work in wickedness
And reap that which they sow.

Let Me Grieve, 3.1.16

I want the world to stop a moment.
Let me breathe,
Let me grieve.

I need a pause
to look about me.
To see the shadows of your life
Before they start to fade.

Put life on hold.
Let me cry,
Let me think.

You're gone.
I'm aware of it.
Starkly, painfully.
An ever-present knife wound.
But I still catch my breath,
Realizing again
What that means.

But the world won't stop.
I have to live
While I grieve.
I eat, sleep, talk.
But I don't want to.
Not yet.

Broken Traveler, 12.1.13

I traveled East,
Until I met the Sun.
In its radiance I burned,
And was left a spirit.

I traveled West,
Into the dying day.
Held its light within my heart,
Before it passed away.

I traveled North,
And in the snow I froze.
Crystals of ice,
Pierced my soul.

I traveled South,
To feel heat again,
It melted the ice,
Until I was no more.